Struggle With Food
I have been thinking about writing this for a while now but it is very emotional and difficult piece for me to write. I feel society puts to much pressure on girls today to be skinny and pretty. Just take a look at Barbie. We allow our girls to think that the only girls that are pretty are the ones that are size 0. I remember as young as six years old wanting to look those girls on ads, TV shows, or movies.
I have always struggled with my weight. Either I am underweight or overweight, there is no in between. I think a lot of my issues from food come from my personality to please everyone around me and control over something. I was a child that needed to be able to control things when I felt like thinks were out of my control. I needed stability. Dieting gave me stability. I was able to control what I ate. We all like to have control over our life but when we lose control we don't know how to deal with it.
It is difficult for me to admit but my most difficult time for my Anorexia was in 7th grade when I was only 102 lbs. No one really acknowledge that I had a problem in my family but I did. I will admit it finally. I remember my mom taking me to the doctor all the time because I would not gain weight. Eating was difficult but I have learned to overcome this through the Grace of our Lord. I feel that every difficulty in my life has lead me closure to God. We all have times when we doubt because we are facing difficulty. Last few years have been really trying on me. I struggle with loving my body. I always want to be skinnier because society teaches us that we must be skinny. It is so difficult when I try to diet because I have feeling come back to when I wouldn't allow myself to eat. I feel like I am stuck again in a bad place. I keep praying to god that he will help me through all these feelings that come back to me.
Right now I am in a place in my life where I need to stay fit, but it is so difficult when we are under so much stress. We often turn to food when we are stressed. It is human as whenever we celebrate we go out to eat. Society is centered around food. I feel like we should place more emphasis on human interaction not just on things.
Today I feel like I am in a better place as I have grown to trust in God. Learning to trust is the hardest thing to do in life. Trust meaning giving up control over everything.
Image Via Pinterest
I have always struggled with my weight. Either I am underweight or overweight, there is no in between. I think a lot of my issues from food come from my personality to please everyone around me and control over something. I was a child that needed to be able to control things when I felt like thinks were out of my control. I needed stability. Dieting gave me stability. I was able to control what I ate. We all like to have control over our life but when we lose control we don't know how to deal with it.
It is difficult for me to admit but my most difficult time for my Anorexia was in 7th grade when I was only 102 lbs. No one really acknowledge that I had a problem in my family but I did. I will admit it finally. I remember my mom taking me to the doctor all the time because I would not gain weight. Eating was difficult but I have learned to overcome this through the Grace of our Lord. I feel that every difficulty in my life has lead me closure to God. We all have times when we doubt because we are facing difficulty. Last few years have been really trying on me. I struggle with loving my body. I always want to be skinnier because society teaches us that we must be skinny. It is so difficult when I try to diet because I have feeling come back to when I wouldn't allow myself to eat. I feel like I am stuck again in a bad place. I keep praying to god that he will help me through all these feelings that come back to me.
Right now I am in a place in my life where I need to stay fit, but it is so difficult when we are under so much stress. We often turn to food when we are stressed. It is human as whenever we celebrate we go out to eat. Society is centered around food. I feel like we should place more emphasis on human interaction not just on things.
Today I feel like I am in a better place as I have grown to trust in God. Learning to trust is the hardest thing to do in life. Trust meaning giving up control over everything.
Image Via Pinterest
To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse.
Psalm 25:1-3
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