What the future holds...
It's been killing me knowing what my future holds as lately everything I seemed to have planned perfectly has gone wrong. I cannot figure out why everything is falling a part? Maybe God is punishing me for not being somebody he wants me to be? Maybe I have not been a good enough person lately? All these things keep running through my head trying to figure out the reason behind them all these failures. I keep trying to stay positive but I just keep beating myself up over the mistakes that I mad.
Even though it seems like everything in my life seems perfect, it has been exactly the opposite since childhood. Nothing was ever given to me as a child as I had to work for everything I ever got. Most teenagers worked on average 15 hours a week. I know you shouldn't be jealous of your own siblings but it kills me every time I hear my brother only works one part time job only on Saturdays. I was more likely working fifty hours a week especially in the summer between my day job, babysitting jobs, and working with mom since I turned 16. I guess it kinda hurts that everyone else here seems to have never worked before joining the military. I guess I always had more exceptions on me than most teenagers today.
Well I have been planning in my head what plan B would be if this didn't work out? I would probably go back to school and use my GI bill. I either want to go for nursing or teaching as I really want to work with children again. I guess I would rather be dirt poor than keep failing at the military. It kills me every time I don't pass a test that I have worked so hard at. The worst part is knowing that the military is everyone's back up plan. If I fail at that what will people thing of me?
Even though it seems like everything in my life seems perfect, it has been exactly the opposite since childhood. Nothing was ever given to me as a child as I had to work for everything I ever got. Most teenagers worked on average 15 hours a week. I know you shouldn't be jealous of your own siblings but it kills me every time I hear my brother only works one part time job only on Saturdays. I was more likely working fifty hours a week especially in the summer between my day job, babysitting jobs, and working with mom since I turned 16. I guess it kinda hurts that everyone else here seems to have never worked before joining the military. I guess I always had more exceptions on me than most teenagers today.
Well I have been planning in my head what plan B would be if this didn't work out? I would probably go back to school and use my GI bill. I either want to go for nursing or teaching as I really want to work with children again. I guess I would rather be dirt poor than keep failing at the military. It kills me every time I don't pass a test that I have worked so hard at. The worst part is knowing that the military is everyone's back up plan. If I fail at that what will people thing of me?
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